If you were born before the 1990s, you’ve said it a million times: what did we do before the Internet?!? Obviously, everything from job searches to buying an appliance has become something we can all now do with very little time and relative ease. Global news comes fresh and fast, ideas and movements go viral within a single day. We can instantly communicate with anyone in the world with a few keystrokes or a webcam, and changes in how we enjoy music and videos have created a world that doesn’t need stereos or televisions. What did we do before the Internet, indeed!
But, today, I’m more interested in something way more random that can be found on the Internet. The generators! All over the planet, there are people who are clearly much smarter than I am developing software and algorithms for just about any kind of generator you can think of. What’s a generator you ask? Well, they’re silly little places online that are probably a much more fun time-suck than your email will be on a Monday morning. After all, you might be feeling like me today– having a hard time getting going and looking for an idiotic distratction. So, just for the complete mindlessness and meaningless fun of it, pick one or two, heck, pick ’em all, and fill your brain with more randomly generated data today.
Who doesn’t love a fortune cookie? Not that they are especially delicious (they aren’t, really, with their weird, vanilla-lemony staleness), but who doesn’t love that little slip of paper inside that gives you insight into your future? Now you don’t even have to eat the stale cookie to get your fortune. Just go to Wisdom Portal’s Random Fortune Cookie Generator. You can also get your lottery numbers but, the best thing is, if you don’t like your fortune or your numbers, you can just click the reload button for something else. My fortune said, Now is the time to try something new. Hmmm. The Wacky Fortune Cookie Generator is a little different and asks you if you feel lucky or not and then gives you a rather cynical fortune. I got, Life is like a sewer… what you get out of it depends on what you put in it. Not sure what that means, to tell you the truth, as just about anything I can think of that would be put in a sewer is, well, crappy.
Trust a horoscope more than a fortune cookie? No problem. Just go to the Daily Horoscope Generator. But, personally, I think I’ll take Leo’s horoscope today, which says I have money burning a hole in my pocket and advises purchasing a new computer, rather than my Virgo advice which tells me my energy is better for going along with others. Whatever. Honestly, I prefer the hilarious and snarky horoscopes at Generatorland, where I learned that I will wish I’d have stayed in bed today and that my next career will be a Master Level Ferris Wheel Operator. Generatorland, by the way, has a whole bunch of quirky generators that will keep you busy all day. I especially like the Facebook Status Generator and, after about a dozen clicks I didn’t like (Drunk at a freaky taco stand, My brother stepped on a badger), got the one I’ll tuck away, I can’t stand well-meaning gossip. I’d have to agree that my favorite kind of gossip is most undoubtedly the kind that is not well-meanng. I mean, really, why bother otherwise, you know?
Looking forward to the winter holidays? Then hop on over to Make A Flake where you can cut out your very own snowflake with an actual, virtual (actual, virtual??) pair of scissors that makes snipping sounds and everything. Yeah, you know you want to.
Or, try a super cool, interactive online Kaleidoscope Maker that lets you choose line width, color, opacity, speed and whether your shapes are still or animated. You’ll want to bookmark this one. Mesmerizing. Not kidding, it’s mesmerizing.
These days there are some people who like to call me Oak Goblinfrost. Why? Because it is my fairy name, of course! They also know that I live in forests of oak and lime trees, am seen only during the first snow of winter, that I wear autumnal leaf colors, have gentle, green wings like a butterfly and, get this, I bring riches and wealth. I think everyone should know their Fairy Name, don’t you? Now, when I am a mermaid, my species is flavens solstitialis, and I am an equatorial type, basking my orange-gold skin on the rocks, rarely quiet and, instead, luring sailors to their doom. Perhaps you aren’t a fairy or a mermaid but, instead, a witch, a unicorn or a would-be Star Wars character. No worries, your curiosity will be quelled at Emma Davies site. (I’m a Jedi Knight, by the way, named Asterope Crescentleap. Totally cool.)
Finally, if you keep a weekly blog and feel the constant pressure to be witty and timely week after week, you might find yourself having an off day and wondering what to do. After all, being witty and timely is hard work, especially on a Monday! If that’s the case, use one of the many Blog Post Idea Generators that can be found online. I found plenty of suggestions like The Rings of Uranus, Faking Happiness, Nine Things I Hate About Ashlee Simpson (yeah, had to look her up), I Love West Virginia, or Let Me Tell You About Wrestling. It would appear that the topic possibilities are only limited by how many times you want to click the reload button. A million ideas to use. Or not.
TRY THIS WEEK: Just take it easy.
Dar's 52 Mondays Blog 
After several months into this economic downturn, a friend of mine observed and opined that he appreciated these leaner times as it seems for more people to now be less focused on the flat screen television and more on the people sitting around in the room with it. Bravo Arthur Benson II !
What an interesting comment, Anonymous!